• It is illegal for anyone over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
• It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
• It is illegal to stutter on a Sunday during a church service.
• During the long hours of winter darkness it is illegal to complain that you wish it were sunny.
• One may not place a dead bird on a neighbor’s lawn.
• One’s mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.
• Drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us.
• It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”.
• Horses may not be tied to a tree on a public highway.
• It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
• A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
• It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
• Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.
• Clergymen must not wear their religious clothing in public.
• Since 1173 it has been illegal to die.
• It is illegal to make a restaurant customer pay for a glass of water
• Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
• Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
• Young girls are not allowed to ride bicyles to school for fear that they will show a flash of white panties to passing men.
• It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.
• One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool.
• Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
• No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
• It is against the law to throw a bag containing both cats and dogs into Parramatta River. But it is okay to throw a bag of cats or a bag of dogs.
• Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.