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It is illegal to intentionally maim oneself to escape duty.
Section 13A-14-1 Maiming one’s self to escape duty or obtain alms. Every person who, with design to disable himself from performing a legal duty, existing or anticipated, shall inflict upon himself an injury whereby he is so disabled and every person who shall so injure himself with intent to avail himself of such injury to…
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your car.
This may have been perfectly acceptable in times gone by, when there were few cars on the road and the majority of “traffic” was either horse-drawn, bicycle, or pedestrian. Just go slow and remain well-lit!