Stupid Laws in Alabama

All women of “uncertain” chastity must be off the streets by 9 p.m.

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Bathing in city fountains is prohibited.

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Bear wrestling matches are illegal.

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Blue jeans are illegal on Noble Street.

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Courting couples must not hold hands while dining in a resturaunt.

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Elephants must not be placed in electric ovens.

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Face masks may not be worn in public.

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If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.

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In a divorce, women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage. This provision does not apply to men.

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Incestuous marriages are perfectly legal.

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It is a criminal offence call a policeman, “Shitface”.

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It is against the law to have an ice cream cone in your back pocket.

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It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a motor vehicle.

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It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

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It is illegal to flick boogers into the wind.

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It is illegal to impersonate a member of the clergy.

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It is illegal to intentionally maim oneself to escape duty.

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It is illegal to marry any animal that is not already a relation.

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It is illegal to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)

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It is illegal to ride bicycles on interstate highways.

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It is illegal to spit orange peels out on to the sidewalk.

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It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone’s pity.

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It is illegal to wear a fake mustache if it causes laughter in church.

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It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your car.

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It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

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