It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

Photo courtesy Lize Kraan Photography

Section 13A-12-1

Certain acts prohibited on Sunday.

Any person who compels his child, apprentice or servant to perform any labor on Sunday, except the customary domestic duties of daily necessity or comfort, or works of […]

You must have windshield wipers on your car.

No one may use a ‘funk ball’ within the city limits.

Sec. 39-81. Stink or funk balls. It shall be unlawful to sell, dispose of, give away or use within the city or its police jurisdiction articles known as stink balls or funk balls or anything of like nature, by whatever name known or called, the purpose of which is to create disagreeable odors to the […]

No person within the city may possess confetti.

Sec. 39-77. Use, sale, etc., of confetti. It shall be unlawful and an offense against the city for any person to have in possession, keep, store, use, manufacture, sell, offer for sale, give away or handle any confetti or other substance or matters similar thereto, but not serpentine, within the city or within its police […]

It is illegal to spit in public.

Section 9.08.010 Spitting.

It is unlawful for any person to spit upon the sidewalks, or upon the floors of places of worship, buses, public halls, theaters or other public places. (Ord. 63A § 3-12, 1977)

It is illegal to marry any animal that is not already a relation.

Courting couples must not hold hands while dining in a resturaunt.

It is a criminal offence call a policeman, “Shitface”.

Elephants must not be placed in electric ovens.

Picture thanks to: JAW-SHOE-WHAH

Use of motor boats forbidden on city streets.

It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone’s pity.

Palm reading requires a $10 permit.

Sec. 23-21. Required. It shall be unlawful for any fortuneteller, as defined in section 23-1, to practice fortunetelling within the city or its police jurisdiction, without first obtaining a permit therefor in compliance with the provisions of this chapter. (Code 1965, § 22-2)

It is illegal to ride bicycles on interstate highways.

Sec. 39-13. Pedestrians, bicycles, etc., prohibited on certain interstate highways. It shall be unlawful and an offense against the city for pedestrians to be upon, or for any person to operate a bicycle, a nonmotorized vehicle or a motor driven cycle of less than ten (10) horsepower, on any part of Interstate Highway 10 and […]

All women of “uncertain” chastity must be off the streets by 9 p.m.

Spray String and Snap Pops are illegal.

Sec. 39-15. “Spray string,” “snap pops,” or similar matter or substances thereto prohibited. It shall be unlawful and an offense against the city for any person to have in his/her possession, keep, store, use, manufacture, sell, offer for sale, give away or handle any “spray string,” “snap pops,” or other matter or substances similar thereto, […]

It is illegal to spit orange peels out on to the sidewalk.

Sec. 39-76. Spitting or throwing fruit skins, etc., on sidewalks, etc. No person shall spit or throw fruit skins, parings or peelings upon any sidewalk in the city or upon the floor of any bus operated within the city or in any public elevator, public building, public theater or public hall or upon any walkway […]

Bathing in city fountains is prohibited.

Sec. 39-82. Washing in, tampering with, etc., fountains. Any person who at any time washes his hands, face or feet in any of the fountains in the city or obstructs the flow of water into the same or in any manner tampers with or abuses such fountain or its fixtures shall be punished as provided […]

Women may not wear a “lewd” dress in public.

Sec. 39-112. Same–Indecent dress, etc. It shall be unlawful for any person to appear in any public place in a state of nudity or indecent or lewd dress, or make an indecent exposure of his person, or to perform or commit any indecent act. (Code 1965, § 41-21.1)

If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.

Sec. 4-4. Resisting, interfering with, etc., animal control officers.

(a) It shall be unlawful for any person by any physical act to interfere with, resist, molest, obstruct, hinder or impede any animal control officer in the discharge of such officer’s duty or to assault, attack, strike or to use any type of physical force toward […]

It is illegal to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)

It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

This law was passed during a time in which there were many military personnel in the area, in order to quiet the young men who would howl at the ladies, embarrassing them.

It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.

There was a court case involving a woman who got a heel of one of her shoes caught in a sidewalk grating, fell, and injured herself. The city subsequently passed this law in order to protect itself from future litigation.

Selling peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday is illegal.

It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

Blue jeans are illegal on Noble Street.