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It is against the law to speak English in Illinois.

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It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.

It is illegal to drive a car without a steering wheel.

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There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

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It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

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Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town’s name mispronounced ‘Jolly-ETTE’ when all local folk know it’s pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

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Trucks may only park inside closed garages.

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Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

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Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.

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