Stupid Laws in Massachusetts

A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.

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Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.

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Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.

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All families must be given a hog from the town’s mayor.

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All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)

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An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.

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An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

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Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.

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At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

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Bullets may not be used as currency.

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Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol.

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Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.

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Christmas was once outlawed in Massachusetts.

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Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.

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Dogs are strictly forbidden from riding in ambulances.

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Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.

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Fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries.

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Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.

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If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.

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In bars, it is actually illegal to walk around with a beer in your hand.

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It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.

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It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.

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It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.

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It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.

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It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.

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