Stupid Laws in Canada

It is illegal to climb trees.

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30% of a radio stations output must be of Canadian Content”

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All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French. If the business operator wishes to have English on the sign, the French must be at least twice as large as the English is. There are no laws governing the usage of other languages on signs. -Bill 101 (Passed 1976)

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Apples must be green.

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Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.

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By law your parents or grandparents must have come from France, Scotland or Ireland.

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Cars parked in public places must be locked, and their windows must not be left down more than the width of a hand.

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Children must not be buried alive in snow deaper than six feet.

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Children under the age of 5 must not be locked in a refrigerator.

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Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.

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Citizens may not urinate or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.

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Comic books which depict any illegal acts are banned.

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Driving on the roads is not allowed.

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If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.

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If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5:00 a.m.

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It is against the law to impersonate a foreigner.

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It is against the law to leave your doors and windows open if you are away from your house for more than one week.

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It is against the law to make burgers out of polar bears.

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It is against the law to swear at your mother in public.

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It is against the law to use dice to play craps.

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It is completely illegal to hit innocent little seal pups over the head with a heavy club – apart from on every day of the year.

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It is illegal for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.

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It is illegal to curse in any language other than French.

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It is illegal to eat ice-cream on Bank Street on a Sunday.

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It is illegal to set fire to the wooden leg of a wooden legged man

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