By law all double-decker buses must be painted red.

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It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

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It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (such as a pub or bar).

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It is forbidden by law to ask a Scotsman what he wears under his kilt.

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All males over the age 14 must carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

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This was on the books until a massive 2012 “cleanup” of archaic laws.

A hackney carriage (taxi) driver must carry a bale of hay and a bucket to feed and water his horse.

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A pregnant woman may relieve herself anywhere she likes, including in a policeman’s helmet.

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It is illegal for any commoner’s pet to have carnal knowledge of an animal belonging to the monarch.

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It is illegal to go within 100 yards of the queen when not wearing hose, socks or stockings.

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Sticking a postage stamp on an envelope upside down is considered treason.

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If a postage stamp shows the head of the queen, which they all do, it is considered treason.