Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.

The only permissible sexual position is missionary-style Any other sexual position is illegal.

It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.

It is illegal to sit on your porch in an indecent position.