A legislator recently introduced a bill making it illegal to tattoo someone under the age of 18. He was quoted as saying, “I’m going to save the buttocks of a few juveniles.”

An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.

Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

97.18(5)

(5) The serving of oleomargarine or margarine to students, patients or inmates of any state institutions as a substitute for table butter is prohibited, except that such substitution may be ordered by the institution superintendent when necessary for the health of a specific patient or inmate, if directed by the physician in charge of [...]

Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday.

Cats are forbidden from entering cemeteries.

Section 6.04.080 Dogs and cats restricted on cemeteries.

No dog or cat shall be permitted in any public cemetery. Every dog specially trained to lead blind persons shall be exempt from this section.

Citizens may not murder their enemies.

Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.

If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day.

It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air.

941.10 Negligent handling of burning material.

(1) Whoever handles burning material in a highly negligent manner is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.

(2) Burning material is handled in a highly negligent manner if handled with criminal negligence under s. 939.25 or under circumstances in which the person should realize that a substantial and unreasonable [...]

It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.

It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.

It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.

It is illegal to kiss on a train.

It is illegal to play checkers in public.

It is illegal to purchase or use sparklers in the city

It is illegal to swim in the Fountain Park fountain.

Sec. 70-220. Regulation of water feature and fountain at Plaza 8 and Fountain Park.

(a) No person shall at any time wade in, swim in or dive into the waters of the Plaza 8 water feature or Fountain Park fountain, or walk on any area of the water feature over which the waters course.

(b) [...]

It is illegal to throw rocks at a railroad car.

943.07 Criminal damage to railroads.

(1) Whoever intentionally causes damage or who causes another person to damage, tamper, change or destroy any railroad track, switch, bridge, trestle, tunnel or signal or any railroad property used in providing rail services, which could cause an injury, accident or derailment is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.

(2) [...]

It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street

It is illegal to use a laser pointer to start a riot.

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.

It is illegal to worry a squirrel

It is unlawful for one to allow another to use the first person’s telephone in order to make prank phone calls.

9.08.070 Harassing or obscene telephone calls.

A. No person shall do any of the following by means of telephone calls originating within or received within the corporate limits of the city:

1. Make any comment, request, suggestion or proposal which is obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy or indecent with intent to frighten, intimidate, threaten or abuse;

[...]

Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads.

346.21 Right-of-way of livestock.

The operator of a motor vehicle shall yield the right-of-way to livestock being driven over or along any highway but any person in charge of such livestock shall use reasonable care and diligence to open the roadway for vehicular traffic.

History: 1993 a. 490.

Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless it is requested by the customer.

97.18(4)

(4) The serving of colored oleomargarine or margarine at a public eating place as a substitute for table butter is prohibited unless it is ordered by the customer.

Missiles may not be shot at parade participants.

Sec. 66-34. No throwing of objects during parade.

No person shall throw or shoot any object, missile, spray or other solid, fluid or semifluid projectile by hand or any other means at any person or object along the route of a parade authorized under section 82-39 during the period from the beginning of the parade [...]