You may not honk horns as they may scare horses.

You may not walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.

You may not make love in a bar.

You may not cheer unless there is a reason too.

You may not fish by using an Uzi.

You may not stop someone from walking down the street by placing a truck in their way.

One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.

Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.

It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.

Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.

The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.

It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

Exterior burglar bars which are viewable from the street are not allowed.

Sec. 18-3. Security/burglar bars.

(a) Exterior security/burglar bars on doors and windows are not allowed within the city on buildings used for commercial or industrial purposes which would be visible from the street or adjacent structures.

(b) Security/burglar bars shall be allowed on the interior of all buildings. Security/burglar doors shall be allowed only if […]

It is unlawful for anyone to have sex or be nude in public.

Sec. 66-1. Nudity and sexual activities in public places.

(a) Definitions. The following words, terms and phrases, when used in this section, shall have the meanings ascribed to them in this subsection, except where the context clearly indicates a different meaning:

Public place means and includes streets, sidewalks or highways; transportation facilities; schools; places of […]

A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

§ 97-29-55. Seduction of female over age of eighteen by promised or pretended marriage.

If any person shall obtain carnal knowledge of any woman, or female child, over the age of eighteen years, of previous chaste character, by virtue of any feigned or pretended marriage or any false or feigned promise of marriage, he shall, […]

It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.

Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.

97-29-59. Unnatural intercourse.

Every person who shall be convicted of the detestable and abominable crime against nature committed with mankind or with a beast, shall be punished by imprisonment in the penitentiary for a term of not more than ten years.

Adultery or Fornication results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.

97-29-1. Adultery and fornication; unlawful cohabitation.

If any man and woman shall unlawfully cohabit, whether in adultery or fornication, they shall be fined in any sum not more than five hundred dollars each, and imprisoned in the county jail not more than six months; and it shall not be necessary, to constitute the offense, that […]

Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.

97-35-17. Disturbance of worship; proceedings and penalty.

If any person shall wilfully disturb any congregation of persons lawfully assembled for religious worship, he may be immediately arrested by any officer or private person, without warrant, and taken before any justice court judge of the county, present or convenient, and on conviction thereof by such justice, […]

You can be fined up to 100$ for using profanity in a public place.

§ 97-29-47. Profanity or drunkenness in public place.

If any person shall profanely swear or curse, or use vulgar and indecent language, or be drunk in any public place, in the presence of two (2) or more persons, he shall, on conviction thereof, be fined not more than one hundred dollars ($100.00) or be imprisoned […]

It is against the law to teach polygamy.

§ 97-29-43. Polygamy; teaching of.

If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or […]

No one may bribe any athlete to “rig” a game, match, tournament or event.

§ 97-29-17. Bribery; participant in professional or amateur games or other athletic contests; wrestling excepted.

(1) Whoever gives, promises, or offers to any professional or amateur baseball, football, basketball, or tennis player, or any player who participates in or expects to participate in any professional or amateur game or sport, or any person participating or […]

If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.

§ 97-29-11. Illegitimate children; person becoming natural parent of second illegitimate child; jurisdiction; notice to district and county attorneys.

(1) If any person, who shall have previously become the natural parent of an illegitimate child within or without this state by coition within or without this state, shall again become the natural parent of an […]

Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.

Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.